这个秋天,找到工作,买了新车,新的生活开始。二十多年的学生时代就这样度过了。那天和老板道别了两次,也不知道该说些什么,也许因为还在同一个城市,因此不是那么感伤,总觉得可以经常回去。可是其实也很难,因为环境不一样了,就像那天Rocie说的:you will be a guest next time。那天想起两年前炜哥毕业时Tony说的:以后就是你自己对自己负责了。有许多新的理想就在远方,对未来却没有把握。
前几天翻出一张刚来美国时买的原声CD:City of Angels。真是很经典的电影和音乐。男女主角都是我很喜欢的,那时他们也正年轻。这是我买过最贵的CD之一,但是绝对物有所值。
里面最喜欢的则是这首Goo Goo Dolls的Iris,沧桑沙哑的声音很动情感人,完全衬托出整个影片的情调。而歌词写得也是很好很好。当年还算年少轻狂:And I don't want the world to see me / Cause I don't think that they'd understand。
Come with me, stay the night You say the words but boy it don't feel right What do you expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late) You take my hand, and you say you've changed But boy you know your begging don't fool me Because to you it's just a game
So let me on down Cause time has made me strong I'm starting to move on I'm gonna say this now Your chance has come and gone And you know
It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
I was young and in love I gave you everything but it wasn't enough And now you wanna communicate Go find someone else
In letting you go, I'm loving myself You gotta problem But don't come asking me for help Cause ya know
It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
I can love with all of my heart baby I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give) With a player like you, I don't have a prayer That's the way to live, yeah oh
It's just too little, too late Yeah
It's just too little too late A little too wrong And I can't wait Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late) You say you dream of my face But you don't like me You just like the chase To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
早上到公司打开信箱一看,有一个"Request to review for ...",一个journal要我当reviewer。哈哈,第一反应就是:我居然也熬成婆了。想起去年申请工作时看师姐的resume做参考,上面列着好多个journal的reviewer,心里很羡慕,想着有一天要是我也可以review别人的paper就好了,想枪毙谁就枪毙谁。现在看来这个其实也很普通。比如今天这个journal,我都没投稿过,也不知道他们怎么找到我的,也许是别人推荐(我们专业很好的一个journal,我的collaborators在上面发过几次),也许是恰好搜索到我在网上的资料,因为里面的topics和我以前找工作时在主页上写的完全一样。
上下午各参加了一个conference call meeting,之后特别不想干活,就一直听歌。然后开始上MSN,破了戒,却发现linux机器上Gaim没法生成文件,看到很多人在线,却又突然没有了说话的欲望。感恩节就快到了,仿佛大家都在准备happy time:今天大manager选择work from home,明天officemate请假要去旅行,中午吃饭遇到irvine的朋友说明天work from irvine,我在总部的mentor上周末就已经下来work from here然后可以在家里过节了。下午在office里跟大家瞎侃我就想起了那句话:人心散了,队伍不好带了。
逛了一圈后下来打开笔记本上网,看到mentor在线,他带我又转了一圈。九点多manager来了。一见面说wow you came so early之类的,然后就带我去一个会议室里,在黑板上开始讲我以后要做的projects,有两个。我说我想先了解一下team现在在做什么。被告知我可以自己去看package,分特。。。
中午遇到了两个interview过我的人,有一个当时说good to see you here我还没反应过来,后来给几个interviewer都发了感谢信,然后去找了HR招我的那个,她问起visa问题,不知道是不是有问题,但愿如以前说的那样ok。傍晚victor过来打了招呼,他很热情,说之前就听到几个朋友说我要去那里了,不知道是我的哪些朋友帮忙介绍的。他明天要去总部因此等回来再向他请教,RJ也在总部。越发觉得总部不错,不过这里的这个group很对我的胃口,因此也不遗憾,等以后有机会再多上去出差了。