back home

I just purchased the airticket for this winter trip. It's so expensive since my itinerary is in the hot season. If I can leave one week earlier or ten days later, I will save about $300 on the ticket. But it seems I don't have many choices.

My friends told me that I should regret for my decision of being TA at this quarter. I know that. Being a TA in this quarter means: lower salary (as RA I can get the highest rank of salary but as TA what I get is lowest rank), very busy and tough work (more than half-time since one class is about double of the regular capacity and the other is also full), non-flexible time schedule (which directly makes my winter vacation not flexible), boss unsatisfied (since I can't concentrate on my research completely), other students unsatisfied (since I took the position), etc. But it's my decision. I wanted to gather one more quarter teaching experience and hoped that it will help for my future work.

I felt so tired these weeks since I was so busy. Many works including my research and teaching are waiting for me. Last Sunday I spent whole day for homework grading and class notes preparation. Yes I was a little regretful when I was exhausted and when I found that the airticket is so expensive. But I cannot blame anyone or regret for any chance. What I can do is to stay firm with my choice and fulfil all the work in this quarter well. Hope that I can do that.

Boss told me that I can attend one conference in China during my vacation. But he won't support for my airfare from here to China. I didn't expect much to get the money. He said that I can get reimbursement for the airticket in China if I take American airline. But it's hard for me. So I may pay all the expense by myself. It's bad to be poor, since otherwise I will not care about the expense at all.

I chose to fly to Shanghai. It's close to my hometown. But I will also go to Beijing for a while. I plan to visit my godmother and my graduate advisor and some old friends as well in Beijing. When I thought about the coming travel back to my hometown and Beijing, I was not very excited, but somehow with a strange feeling. Maybe it's similar with a Chinese saying that "I am more and more afraid when I am getting closer and closer to the home". I miss my parents very much. And I also miss the time I spent in Beijing. I had been in Beijing for seven years and I went back to it after my first year at USA. I had so many memories with Beijing but I just couldn't recall them any more. When I was in Beijing that summer after one week, I felt lonely in my heart. It may sound rediculous to other people. But it was true. I couldn't find myself in that busy city. When I came back from Beijing to here at last time, I couldn't help tearing on the plane, since I was leaving my homeland to another country for a new life. I was so emotional at that time. Time goes by and everyday is new to me now.

Hope that I can finish all my work before my travel and then I can be free to enjoy the holiday. I am looking forward to seeing my parents and friends in China now.